Buzzing around like a blue arsed fly

A very short essay on the state of my mind

Not so long ago I was moaning that I couldn’t find my groove, my ‘why’ for writing or drawing. Completely blocked it seemed. But on a little introspection and some lively discussions with friends, I found instead that I had all sorts of thoughts and ideas bouncing around in my disheveled mind all demanding equal air time, all wanting an outing, all wanting to party in one way or another. It wasn’t a dearth of ideas, it was an overload of same, causing mass chaos and disruptive shenanigans up there in ‘the patch’. Out of control, no way to harness, all over the damn place.

Enough, I thought, pipe down. In the hopes that the capo who runs ‘the patch’ would slam down the gavel and tell all those unruly ideas to line up, be quiet, eat their snacks and wait politely for their turn on the page.

They sort of did. Some popped themselves into a glass jar marked ‘Wuzzles’, others into the ‘Snippets’ jar. Many continued to buzz around like blue arsed flies, rarely pausing for a moment, much less confining themselves to the concept of orderly and pleasing behaviours. Even the cooperative ideas that sallied forth and obligingly chose a jar of mutual compatibility seem to tussle and jostle with each other for first dibs at becoming coherent thoughts for public usage. I often find myself stuffing them back into their jars and vaguely promising them some studied consideration in the future when I am in the mood.

Ahhhh, there it is. When I am in the mood.

A heady declaration of independence, one could generously assume. Or a blatant waving of the flag of indecision. Also the flags of foggy clarity, crass familiarity, and outright procrastination. It gets very noisy in ‘the patch’. It’s an ongoing revolution of excuses up there. The ensuing ruckus has necessitated a complete change of command.

With that in mind, I have politely informed the capo that his services are no longer required, figuring that bully tactics are very outdated, unwarranted and highly ineffective. I chose to replace the now empty position not with a gentle speaking, coaxing, you can do anything preacher of hogwash, but rather a no nonsense and flexible entity who has the wits to nurture ideas.

Rather than boxing them in and restricting their exuberance, forcing them to wear delicate frocks when dungarees are more appropriate, ideas are going to be given a round the brain ticket, no deadlines, no destinations. The new boss on the job is more a ‘if you drop the ball and it rolls away then move your ass and go after it’ kind of a gal. But jolly and willing to stop at any given moment for a cup of tea and slice of vegan bundt cake to discuss things. I think we might muddle along quite well together. I shall leave her to deal with the multitude of half baked ideas tumbling around in the confined, often confused, space of my head and I trust that she will toss one out on ocassion for me to deal with in a mature and compassionate manner.

Unless it comes with a scrawled note that says ‘no filter’. Shall follow those instructions to the letter. At least on my first draft.

Now that is sorted I feel like I have a sketchy plan in place! If it all goes sideways I can always boot the jolly gal off the podium and replace her with the stern ramrod straight queen of grammar and purveyor of short pithy sentences. Should it come to that, me and my jolly gal are probably going to head out on our own narrative adventure and let the dogs out, so to speak.

Meanwhile, there’s a few strays who continually wiggle their way to the top of the Wuzzle jar and need immediate attention. You can expect my thoughts about ‘pest’ disposal in the next posting of Wuzzles and Snippets. It is going to be a challenge to keep the filter in place on that one. Just saying.

Thanks for being here, ‘til the next time, kristine